Understanding Newborn Sleep: What to Expect in the first 6 Months
Welcoming a newborn into your life is an incredible experience, filled with love, joy… and, let's face it, a lot of sleepless nights. If you’re a new parent, you might be overwhelmed by the conflicting advice out there about how your baby ‘should’ be sleeping.
Should you follow a strict routine?
Is co-sleeping safe?
Is it okay if your baby wakes up multiple times a night?
But hopefully by gaining an understanding of what is biologically normal, and how to support your baby though the first 6 months, you’ll be able to relax into your journey a little more and enjoy this incredibly special time together.
The Reality of Newborn Sleep vs. Unrealistic Expectations
Many parents enter the newborn phase with unrealistic expectations about their baby’s sleep. It’s common to hear advice suggesting that babies should sleep through the night by a certain age or that they need to be on a strict sleep schedule from the start. These expectations can create a lot of unnecessary stress and anxiety for parents, especially when their baby’s sleep patterns don’t align with what they’ve been told is “normal.”
The truth is, newborns have very different sleep needs compared to older children and adults. In the first few months, it is entirely normal for babies to wake frequently throughout the night. This waking is not only a part of healthy development but also serves critical functions, such as feeding and bonding. When parents expect their newborns to sleep long stretches or adhere to a rigid schedule, they may feel frustrated or like they’re doing something wrong. In reality, these frequent night wakings are a protective mechanism that helps regulate a baby's breathing and reduces the risk of SIDS (Sudden Infant Death Syndrome) (NHS, n.d.).
Newborns can sleep anywhere between 14-17 hours per 24 hour period - with the sleep spread over many naps and overnight. In the first 3 months they aren’t able to differentiate between day and night, so frequent overnight wakes are very normal!
The Role of Temperament in Sleep
Every baby is unique, and their sleep patterns can be influenced by their temperament. Temperament refers to the innate traits that influence how individuals respond to their environment. Some babies are naturally more relaxed and may adapt more easily to sleep routines. In contrast, highly sensitive babies might require more support to feel secure and comfortable. These babies often need a carefully managed sleep environment to reduce overstimulation and promote restful sleep. Understanding your baby’s temperament can help you tailor your approach to their specific needs, ensuring both you and your baby get the rest you need (Carey & McDevitt, 1978).
Creating a Safe and Supportive Sleep Environment
One of the most important aspects of newborn sleep is creating a safe environment. Whether you choose to co-sleep or have your baby sleep in a crib, always follow safe sleep guidelines to reduce the risk of SIDS. A consistent sleep routine can also help signal to your baby that it’s time to wind down. Activities like a warm bath, gentle rocking, or a lullaby can become cues that it’s time to sleep. Remember, there’s no one-size-fits-all solution. Remember, what works for one family might not work for another, and that’s okay. The key is to find what feels right for you and your baby (Lullaby Trust, n.d.).
There’s no such thing as ‘Bad Habits’
Unfortunately so much of a baby’s normal, natural wants and needs are deemed as ‘spoiling’ them or ‘creating bad habits’.
But please know that you cannot spoil your baby. During first 3 months in particular - often called the 4th trimester - they continue to need the closeness and connection that they had while in the womb. They may not want to be put down! They might not like the pram or the car seat or the crib, because these containers take them away from you - their safe space.
So please - feed on demand! feed to sleep! contact nap (safely!) carry your baby! keep them as close as you’re able to, in the knowledge that in doing so, you’re giving them everything they need.
Prioritising your Own Wellbeing & Regulation
Many of us (me included!) aren’t great at asking for or accepting help. But during these months when you are caring for a young baby, it’s essential that you are looking after yourself and allowing help in! Not only to ensure that you have the time and energy to pour into your little one, but also to allow you to be regulated enough to support them.
Newborns and young infants are not capable of self-regulation, so they rely entirely on their caregivers to help them feel secure and calm. Through co-regulation, you can help your baby navigate the world’s overwhelming sensory experiences by offering comfort, closeness, and predictability. This support not only soothes immediate distress but also lays the foundation for developing secure attachment bonds, fostering the baby’s ability to eventually learn self-soothing and emotional regulation as they grow.
The Importance of Setting Realistic Expectations
It’s important to remember that every baby is different, and there is no “right” way to sleep during the early months. By setting realistic expectations and understanding that frequent night waking is a normal and healthy part of development, you can reduce stress and enjoy these precious early months more fully. Embrace the unique needs of your baby and trust your instincts. Your baby is not just learning to sleep—they are learning to feel safe and secure in a new world.
Ready to Learn More?
If you’re feeling overwhelmed by the amount of information out there and want a comprehensive, empathetic guide to help you through your baby’s first six months, check out my full guide on newborn sleep. It’s packed with evidence-based advice, practical tips, and supportive strategies to help you and your baby get the rest you need. Remember, every baby is unique, and finding what works for your family is the most important thing. Let us help you navigate this journey with confidence and peace of mind.
Whether you’re a first-time parent or looking for new strategies, our guide offers valuable insights and practical advice tailored to your baby’s unique needs.