Surviving Sleep Regressions - Without Sleep Training
As a new parent, you’ve likely heard of sleep regressions. Particularly if your little one is nearing the 4 month mark! Unfortunately, they’re given a lot of unhelpful attention by sleep trainers, and used as an opportunity to sell the idea of needing to ‘teach’ your baby how to remember how to sleep…
So let’s explore what sleep ‘regressions’ are, when they occur, and what you can do to support your baby through them - so that you can hopefully feel more informed and empowered when these phrases arise.
Firstly, Let’s Change the Language…
The term “regression” suggests that your baby’s sleep is going backwards, but that’s actually far from the truth. These phases are really all about progress.
When babies are mastering new developmental skills—such as learning how to roll, crawl, walk, talk etc, things that require practice and effort - it can result in sleep disruptions. You may even notice them ‘practicing these things at night, as they are far more exciting than sleep!! Far from regressing, during these times, your baby is moving forward and learning new ways to explore the world.
So firstly, changing the language used around regressions and reframing these phases as growth rather than setbacks may help you feel more able to cope with the situations and respond with more patience and understanding. Remember - they are just another natural sign that your baby is magically growing and developing.
Key Ages Where Sleep May Get a Bit Wonky:
4 Month Regression: Between 3-5 months (but often dubbed the ‘four month sleep regression’) you may notice a change in your baby’s sleep habits. Around this time, some big changes are happening: their sleep cycles begin changing and developing to resemble those of an adult, and their sleep hormones mature. So it’s a pretty major and exciting development! These major shifts often result in more night wakings, and could also lead to changes in how your baby likes to go to sleep. Your little one may need extra comfort and closeness around this time. This is the only regression that is directly related to biological changes in how their sleep works. You don’t need to ‘teach’ them how to sleep again - they just need to find their new rhythm.
8-10 Month Regression: Separation anxiety peaks around this age, and babies are also typically mastering new skills like crawling, scooting around & pulling themselves up. These milestones can leave them waking frequently to “check in” with you and practice the new skills they’ve been working on.
12 Month Regression: Around this age, babies may begin walking and exploring - which can mean it’s hard for them to settle when it comes to bedtime! Their sleep needs are again dropping over time, and around this age they may be ready to drop a nap.
18 Months: This stage comes with a lot of big changes—like teething, language development, and growing independence—which can disturb sleep. This is a mixed phase, as teething and development in communication both directly and indirectly affect their ability to settle at bedtime and may result in more wakes overnight. Separation anxiety can also be high around this age, meaning lots of connection time and comfort is needed.
2 Years: At this age, your toddler may be asserting independence by day, but may still want plenty of reassurance at night. They could also face sleep disruptions from potty training, moving to a big bed, starting nursery, the arrival of new siblings etc.. Around this age, some toddlers may start to refuse naps on occassion, but they are unlikely to be ready to drop their nap completely.
How to Support Your Baby Through These Regressions
Be responsive: When babies wake frequently or struggle to settle, it’s not a sign that you are failing at anything, or they need to be ‘taught’ how to sleep again. It’s simply may signal a need for comfort, support and connection. Responding to their cues with love and care can help them to feel safe and secure.
Maintain closeness: Safe co-sleeping, contact naps, or extra cuddle time can provide the comfort your baby craves. Supporting their attachment needs helps build security and trust, which will naturally lead to better sleep in time.
Create a calm environment: A simple yet consistent bedtime routine can help your little one understand that it’s time for sleep. As they get older, you may want to start bringing in some firm, loving boundaries to help them know what to expect and allow them to relax into their routine.
Check their sleep needs: If you’re seeing a lot of night wakes, you may want to check whether they are having too much daytime sleep, or if their awake time before bed could be increased. Of course, every child is different, but if they are way outside of the age-appropriate averages, you could experiment with making changes.
Other reasons for Sleep Disruptions
Here are some other questions to ask if you find yourself in a period of disrupted sleep:
Have you introduced any new foods / milks / formulas recently that could be causing discomfort?
Has your child recently taken antibiotics?
Are they teething? Or could they be ill?
Are there any other major events going on - starting childcare? arrival of a new sibling? potty training?
Sleep Regressions Are Normal
Remember, sleep regressions are part of your child’s developmental journey. By offering them a secure, nurturing environment, you’re not just helping them to sleep better. You’re also fostering a deeper bond that promotes emotional wellbeing. And, over time, as their little brains and bodies grow, they will find their rhythm again.